There must be a heart that keeps me here
Thursday, 17 February 2011 @ 22:13

My blackberry's light just blinked orange and I wondered who did I assign the colour to. Normally it only flashes either red (normal), white (liyuan) or green (kamal).... and completely forgot that I put your number under orange :) I miss you baby, and you're not making it any easier with the card you sent me. Need you back right now, need you back right now.

Perhaps living under the same roof with a couple, a couple who just got together, a very loving couple who just got together, a very loving couple who just got together and happen to be my bestest friends in uni, is not easy. Hmm strange? Don't get me wrong, I love them very much and am extremely happy for them cause they look so cute together! But it's just strange you know, when I try to give them more space without making it seem awkward or different and them trying to make me feel comfortable, pretending that everything's the same. In some way it is, but in most way it isn't and I just don't know what to say or do anymore. I'm not lonely, I don't feel lonely and it's not the loneliness because they're still my friends. But it's just different and I can't seem to put it right without making myself sound like a selfish, difficult friend who's making too big a fuss, sigh, hence I shall just stop here.

Spending 4 days of quality time with Fel and Lihx in London was a great distraction from work and everything that has been going on with my life in Birmingham. Had no idea how much I missed them until it hurt so much when we said goodbye. Need to see them soon and I will. Meanwhile, I should really control my spending. London, I swear, is the reason why shopaholics land themselves in credit debts and are forced into therapy. I need to stop spending. I need to stop spending on clothes, bags and shoes. Okay maybe not shoes. Alright, maybe shoes too. Oh sigh... I need to live the life man. And when I mean the life, I mean: Sipping high tea in selfridges after short walks in and out of Chanel, Gucci, Miumiu, Balenciaga, Alexander Wang, DVF, YSL, Tiffanys and Hermes. The Life.

Am drinking way too much tea these days, wonder if there'll be any impediment to my health. Oh well without tea I'd rather not have health anyways, caffeine ftw. Need to start working. CANCER CANCER CANCER; REPRO, REPRO, REPRO; BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN.

Later.