@ 22:13
My blackberry's light just blinked orange and I wondered who did I assign the colour to. Normally it only flashes either red (normal), white (liyuan) or green (kamal).... and completely forgot that I put your number under orange :) I miss you baby, and you're not making it any easier with the card you sent me. Need you back right now, need you back right now.
Perhaps living under the same roof with a couple, a couple who just got together, a very loving couple who just got together, a very loving couple who just got together and happen to be my bestest friends in uni, is not easy. Hmm strange? Don't get me wrong, I love them very much and am extremely happy for them cause they look so cute together! But it's just strange you know, when I try to give them more space without making it seem awkward or different and them trying to make me feel comfortable, pretending that everything's the same. In some way it is, but in most way it isn't and I just don't know what to say or do anymore. I'm not lonely, I don't feel lonely and it's not the loneliness because they're still my friends. But it's just different and I can't seem to put it right without making myself sound like a selfish, difficult friend who's making too big a fuss, sigh, hence I shall just stop here.
Spending 4 days of quality time with Fel and Lihx in London was a great distraction from work and everything that has been going on with my life in Birmingham. Had no idea how much I missed them until it hurt so much when we said goodbye. Need to see them soon and I will. Meanwhile, I should really control my spending. London, I swear, is the reason why shopaholics land themselves in credit debts and are forced into therapy. I need to stop spending. I need to stop spending on clothes, bags and shoes. Okay maybe not shoes. Alright, maybe shoes too. Oh sigh... I need to live the life man. And when I mean the life, I mean: Sipping high tea in selfridges after short walks in and out of Chanel, Gucci, Miumiu, Balenciaga, Alexander Wang, DVF, YSL, Tiffanys and Hermes. The Life.
Am drinking way too much tea these days, wonder if there'll be any impediment to my health. Oh well without tea I'd rather not have health anyways, caffeine ftw. Need to start working. CANCER CANCER CANCER; REPRO, REPRO, REPRO; BRAIN, BRAIN, BRAIN.
Later.
Sunday, 6 February 2011 @ 16:50
I guess that's what saying goodbye is always like - like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you're in the air, there's nothing you can do but let go.
Just came back from a routine shopping for groceries at Tesco's and damn I still can't find the kind of preserved cherries Mrs. Brooks used to give us for dessert when I was still living in Croydon. Perphaps I should drop her a fbook msg asking her how's she doing, how's her family doing and where she got those lovely cherries from! I wonder what's for dinner tonight.
Ohya I finished my book. I love this one. I love how I hate wanting to know more about the story even though it has already ended. I love how it talks about every character so interestingly throughout the book and then leaves a page on how each of them ended up right at the end before the credits - relapsed, cured, found and dead. A million little pieces by James Frey - true story.
Watched the Tourist yesterday while Mm and Li were out dating :) They are so cute together and I wish they stay together forever. I think they went to see the Black Swan after my fervent recommendation, mind you I watched it twice. Natalie Portman is currently ranked top place on my list of female crushes and that movie made me slightly proud of the fact that I did ballet for 5 years even though I completely gave it up and my body is as flexible as a carrot. I'm rooting for her for Best Actress in the Oscars!! Ohya back to the Tourist... it's a very strange movie and if you're debating between catching Black Swan or the Tourist, I've already made that decision for you.
Alright I'm off to do some Reproduction now. Ew sounds dodgy.. as much as I want a baby. One of my current module is on reproduction and embryogenesis so yeah, there you go, I am not about to have a baby :)
Saturday, 5 February 2011 @ 21:19
I've been away for awhile... and that's probably why I don't find it hard to come back. Cause I'm so used to leaving and coming back. It doesn't stop me leaving because I know I'll find no difficulties in coming back. Does that make any sense at all?
Finally, in a long long time I managed to sit down and read a book quietly. I was never really a voracious reader. Anyway, yes, it's been a long time since I've read. Reading for pleasure, reading because I want to, not because I need to. It takes me away yknw? To another world, somehow. The next time, I want to try reading without having to think about the amount of lectures I need to write up at the end of every chapter. Yeah, that will be my goal :)
It's a good book, well so far so good. I'm just halfway through and will let you know when I finished. Just a little spoiler - best quote so far? "The wounds that never heal can only be mourned alone." How true is that.
Will continue reading after I finish writing up a lecture note. It makes me feel less guilty. See, that's what med school do to you - makes you feel guilty for having even the slightest bit of pleasure.
Nah, was just kidding! It's really not that bad. Yeah it is bad but not serious enough to leave permanent wounds that can only be mourned alone :) x
